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Let's Talk: Dreams
Dreams. No, I am not talking about your hopes for the future or goals you wish to achieve. This time I am here to talk about the kind of dreaming that occurs in the early hours of the morning or during REM. Well, for most anyway but that's the problem as studies show that some people recall their dreams after they wake while some might not even have dreams at all or remember them. I happen to be one of those people who don't remember them or one of those who might not even dream at all and it really bothers me. Why?
Lucid dreaming.
Lucid dreaming.
I'm sure you've all heard of it and if you haven't, it occurs when your mind remains conscious while your body is asleep allowing you to interact with your dreams. It starts off with sleep paralysis, which I have, and from that point, your body travels to REM where your dreams occur and with normal dreaming, we are not aware of this but when you're lucid, you are. But for the life of me I can't dream/remember my dream and if I do, they're the ones that unsettle me. I can't say they are nightmares because they're not but they certainly aren't funny or epic like dreams are said to be. Let me detour for a moment and explain what I mean:
Any dream I remember vividly are the ones that leave me uncomfortably or essentially haunt me. One dream I can recall occurred in a library. The walls were white, the carpet a navy blue and the tables brown. It seemed so short as I walked past the table and suddenly found myself seizing on the floor. I woke up after that one feeling like I had actually had a seizure and my mood was off the entire day because of it. Another one, also a 'short' one, took place in a hospital. I wasn't quite sure why I was there or how I got there but I saw myself being hooked up to an IV. The doctors invisible except for their hand and the only sound I could hear was a word that vaguely sounded like, "Cancer." And before you think my body is trying to warn me- it's not.
Another dream I can easily recall actually happened this week, once again extremely unsettling. I was crossing from our vocational center back to the high school in my dream like I do every day for my ninth hour class in the waking world except it wasn't a normal journey. The sky was... yellowish/orangish with black and red clouds. That wasn't the only thing; millions of bats flew over our head and started dropping guano (bat poop) and my dream-self threw a blanket over my head and ran back to the art room and pounded on the teacher's door who quickly let me in and locked the door behind us. There were two faceless students milling around. I stood in front of him asking about some made up word my mind created and after receiving what I was looking for I ran to some random apartment where there were dogs. One of these dogs bit my neck. Someone's grandpa was in the apartment too. I saw myself running down the stairs and back into the parking lot toward a car in such a hurry. Then I woke up.
This one particularly bothered me. All week I've constantly been thinking about that dream and what it could mean, why I had it. Why was I scared of the dog in my dream? I used to fear them but only American Bulldogs as a dog named Jack attacked me when I was three but I really don't believe it has any significance. That word as well... that word has been repeating through my head all week without a proper definition to it. It's no other language, I was positive it was english. Why is this dream bothering me so much? It shouldn't have been that scary because I wasn't actually scared, just concerned.
Why do I only remember the bad ones and never the good- minus the one good dream I actually did remember-? I don't understand it as my friends (the ones who aren't insomniacs) dream every night whether they're good, bad, or just plain weird. The rare dreams I do have on occasional are the ones I don't want. And because I rarely dream in the first place, I cannot lucid dream. The sleep paralysis (terrifying might I add!) is as far as it goes.
Why do I only remember the bad ones and never the good- minus the one good dream I actually did remember-? I don't understand it as my friends (the ones who aren't insomniacs) dream every night whether they're good, bad, or just plain weird. The rare dreams I do have on occasional are the ones I don't want. And because I rarely dream in the first place, I cannot lucid dream. The sleep paralysis (terrifying might I add!) is as far as it goes.
I just had to get this off of my chest. Sorry to bother and goodnight, I guess.
"I'm not great with advice, may I offer a sarcastic comment instead?"
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I've probably mentioned this in the past but there are occasions where I'll have a really tragic dream (Or even just a stupid one where I got in trouble over something small thing but everyone acts like it's the worst thing in the world) and I'll be crying with an inconsolable sadness, and when I wake from the dream I'll go straight to crying in real. And it's the most awful sad moments of my life. I have no idea if anyone else has had this happen
We were driving down a farm road and stopped off at a house. The house was owned my some rather odd people, however they were making...to be continues mom say's it's bed time o.o